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Five Bombass Weapons

June 22, 2012

Bombass weapons. We all have our favourites. Let’s dive into a little collection of five bombass weapons that make me smile, and let’s see if we can learn any life lessons from this destructive arsenal.

Injector Timesplitters 3 : Future Perfect

Who wants an ordinary gun anyway? Snore. That’s for those fools who love realism. Again, snore! Well,okay, I hand it to you that realism is all the rage now; hey, even I like it. What happened to out and out batsh*t crazy weapons, though?

If there was one batsh*t crazy weapon that stuck in my mind, it was the Injector from Timesplitters 3: Future Perfect. Looks nothing more than a harmless dart gun, but that’s where all similarities to any gesture of normality end. Get shot by three darts from this baby, and you’ll swell and swell and swell until you resemble the Hindenburg. Just like the unfortunate airship, you’ll end up going pop, littering the surrounding area with chunks of meat and tangles of gore (which is not so much like the airship). An Injector-only deathmatch was certainly what you can call… gory.

M-920 Cain – Mass Effect 3

 

What’s to say about this beast that you don’t already know? Point it at some hapless enemies, charge the weapon and release a miniature atomic bomb on their asses. The M-920 Cain tends to have the effect of vaporizing anything you point it at, so definitely do not point it at your gran’s prized antique plate collection. Look, this thing is mental, it can even take down one of the big bad Reapers! LOOK! The planet can be saved Shepard, you just need to hand everyone a miniature hydrogen bomb in a can. What could go wrong?

Fruit Bazooka – Crash Bandicoot 3 : Warped

 

Ever thought fruit could be considered a weapon? Well, children don’t seem to like them, so they are definitely some kind of child deterrent to be considered if we ever get in a full scale war with the kids of Earth, but did you ever consider the possibility of jamming a fruit (Wumpa fruit in this case) into a highly explosive tube? You could then use this weapon to take down an evil genius, an omnipotent, spooky, black voodoo mask and his villainous minions. Well, Crash Bandicoot proved that not only is this possible, but it’s also bloody good fun to blast minions away with an explosive fruity thump to the face.

Cole’s Powers – InFamous 1 and 2

 

Remember when you were a kid and you wanted superpowers (or perhaps you still do)? Admit it, somewhere deep down, you wanted crazy powers. Whether it was the power of flight, the power to control animals or turn into a car or something, we all yearned for something. It’s like the generic kid’s fantasy (well, at least for men it’s generic). The InFamous series introduced us to Cole McGrath and let us control him as he discovered his powers and honed them until he was the most badass conduit in the world.

 

Whether you disliked the game characters or the story, I still got a massive kick out of electrocuting, freezing, throwing, smashing, launching, crushing, burning and blasting hundreds of enemies. It was just so cool and, importantly, a bombass arsenal.

Banana Bomb – Worms 2: Armageddon

The favourite midday snack of the health conscious, those low on potassium or lonely housewives. To worms, it only means one thing: the pinnacle of destruction.

You better be ready to live with your consequences of your foolish actions if you let one of these bad boys off the chain. Few are true masters of this bombass weapon. Few can control the destruction power of one harmless banana, which then blasts apart into five separate banana bomblets, which bounce here and there across the battlefield, blowing apart any worm that gets close.

So we can conclude fruit can be a bombass weapon, a child deterrent and, on occasion, a healthy snack. There is something to learn from bombass weapons.

Image Link: XboxLiveAddicts.co.uk

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One Comment leave one →
  1. June 24, 2012 11:26 am

    That injector. I loved that injector…

    And I love this article for including it. Because it was such a badass weapon and people (or, at least, the ones I played TS with) didn’t feel the same way.

    Didn’t stop me from switching the weapon set to an injector-only one, though. <3

    I loved reading, though. Even if I'm so out of the loop by now that I only remember the injector and the banana bomb. :D

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